Good, Better, Best (or Big, Bigger, Biggest)

Our neighbors at the end of the street decorate for every holiday on the calendar.  I admire their commitment and creativity.  I really do.  They really like the vintage, plastic “light -up” lawn ornaments.  As in “They Really Like the Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments” 

They decorate for holidays that are only a mention on an Elementary School calendar.  President’s Day?  Yep, they have a bust of George Washington.  They do Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day.  And then they really hit their stride.  Because they can decorate for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas in rapid, rapid succession.

And let me tell you, it is rapid and very, very timely.  Friday morning after Thanksgiving, they are full-on, completely decorated for Christmas.  I’ve never watched them tear down and put up decorations but I imagine they hit the front lawn at midnight to do all of the tedious, extension cord running work.

We live in an old neighborhood with postage stamp size lawns.  The patches of front lawns are approximately 15 feet deep by 25 feet wide.  Not a whole lot of room for “The Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments” you’d think.  But then you’d be wrong.

They have so many of “The Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments” that they have to hang some out of the 2nd floor and attic windows of their home.  Yes, they do.

So, here’s where it gets good.  Two years ago,  across the street and two doors down, two very nice gentlemen moved in.  They decorate like it’s their job and they are the President of the United States of Christmas Ornaments and Decorations.

In their first year of decorating, they eclipsed “The Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments” people by a factor of four.  Seriously, they rocked the ridiculous Christmas Light, Light Up Fan Driven Lawn Ornament contest.  Except there was no contest.  I think their light display was so bright and ridiculously flashing that the neighbors may have told them to turn it down.  It was that crazy.

It’s only gotten more crazy and ornate over the remaining years.  They not only decorate the front of their home, they decorate their fence and gate and their detached garage.  Next year they may even try to decorate the air space above their home.  Too bad for them that we’re in the landing pattern for the airport, they could add lights up to the outer layers of the atmosphere.


So, the rest of the houses on this end of the street have really amped up their displays.  And the “The Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments” are now in 3rd place.  3rd Place, at best.  I kind of feel sorry for them.  They win though, the rest of the year.  Because really, except them, who has Plastic Light Up Lawn Ornaments for Arbor Day?


About hellpellet

a little pellet of hell
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